Cillit Blunders
With Rizzo, A. Muppet both unavailable and Stroud and Oscar out injured, Doug again filled in goal. It was a night with no subs for Cillit Bang FC against another team they have never faced before.
First Half
Cillit Bang FC started brightly with the ball as Smack my Pitch up were pinned into their box. The basis of the game started after this brief opening 2 minutes where bad control and a lack of simple passes proved costly. For example Big Bird passing across the edge of the area from a kick in, it was read by the attacker and had it not been for a poor finish by hitting the crossbar Big Bird had got out of jail. Kermit hit a hopeful crossfield pass from a kick in and Swedish Chef cleared the lines poorly although this lead into Gonzo intercepting a pass and setting off Kermit for a tame shot on target.
The goal came from a series of vital mistakes, Swedish Chef failed to guard the near post, Doug fumbled the corner kick, the defenders forgot to mark the sole opposition player in the centre of the box.
Further mistakes as a poor Gonzo pass results in a goalkick from a poor opposition clearance with plenty of time to control the ball. Doug and Big Bird exchange passes increasingly make the ball harder to control leaving Gonzo to a difficult situation and bypasses the ball, the attacker poorly shoots wide but not before Big Bird sticks a foot out onto the shot and after crashing against his own crossbar manages to redeem himself by setting off Gonzo, which peters to nothing.
Let's play keep the ball in the air followed as Doug perpetously whacks the ball into the air when under no pressure but after some air time the ball is back in Doug's hands, sadly after a not so great first half from Doug he concedes possession, rolling the ball behind Big Bird for the Smack my Pitch Up striker to pounce on the ball.
CBFC could not build from the back nor string 2 passes together, most of the passing was done in the air, play needed slowing down. Gonzo found Beaker with an aforementioned lofted pass, however the cross was snuffed out.
Gonzo and Kermit link up with 2 passes and the third is too much of a long pass for Beaker and again possession is lost. This leads Smack my Pitch up to get in down the left wing, a good awkward finish is hard to keep out from Doug at his near post.
Further sticking the knife in to a dismal performance, static passing from the kick off let in Smack my Pitch Up, the effort outside the box was another goal as the attempted save a little limp. Cillit Bang FC's players needed to show some fight and take the match far more seriously or they were going to get taken to the cleaners.
There was an improvement as a brief spell of shots fell to Swedish Chef hitting just wide and Chef passes through to Kermit's run hitting another on target effort. Swedish Chef after skipping past the defender gets caught on the trailing leg and wins a free kick. With Gonzo available for a shot his layoff is intercepted thus setting off a counter attack which is fully taken advantage of for the fourth goal. Harsh but the mistake was punished.
Second Half
Smack my Pitch up had chances to score whereas Cillit Bang FC had little flow to their play, Swedish Chef non existent in the attacking third with Beaker and Kermit seeing very little of the ball. Gonzo and Kermit worked a corner which proved costly as a counterattack and tackles by Big Bird, Beaker and Chef were all evaded, in on goal the shot was parried for a rebound which was scored.
More shoddy defending as a poor pass from Gonzo, forced Doug to pounce off his line to stop the loose ball in the CBFC half, from the set pieces, non existent marking caused a free shot on goal at the back post.
There was the chance to hit back, Swedish Chef turning the defender and having a shot blocked, but reacting quickest to keep the possession and pass to Gonzo, but the shot not his usual accurate self. While the shot count heavily in favour of Smack my Pitch up immediately scupper a glorious chance from a goalkick, the attacker poorly forces Doug to make a save, as his position was heavily on one side of the goal and huge portion of the goal was unguarded. Kermit wastes the chance to counter with a weak weighted pass out to Beaker which is intercepted. Beaker tries to make a few passes which are cut out, Kermit receives a ball in the middle of the attacking half but is dispossessed.
It wasn't happening on the night that was for sure, there was no real chance or final pass there it was a catalogue of rubbish.
Both sides had a few efforts in the last stages of the match, Beaker getting underneath the ball and Chef having his blocked by the defender's rear end. Kermit and Gonzo unable to turn in the shooting on the final whistle.
